The 7 Money Mistakes That Will Ruin Your Marriage in Retirement

In this video, Anthony shares 7 money mistakes to avoid in marriage and retirement planning tips he has learned over the years.

Anthony describes how avoiding these mistakes can help these successful couples navigate fulfilling retirement years.

The 7 Money Mistakes That Will Ruin Your Marriage in Retirement


Full transcript:


Anthony Saffer 0:00
Money can be tense with your spouse, but it doesn’t need to be.

In this video I’m going to share seven money mistakes to avoid in marriage and retirement planning that I’ve learned through my years of working with couples. I’ve seen how avoiding these mistakes can help these successful couples navigate and fulfilling retirement years.

Hey, I am Anthony with One Degree Advisors and we want to help you gain confidence in your retirement.

All right, I’m not pretending to be your marriage therapist. My wife Robin and I have been married for 22 years, she can attest that I’m not a marriage expert. But I’ve been a financial planner even longer helping many couples to and through retirement. And I’ve learned a few things I think can help you.

We often think about marriage and finance when we first get married. But when you’re in retirement, things change and mistakes can cause conflict. You stop earning a paycheck, you start drawing on your savings generally. And so when adversity hits this can sometimes cause a certain anxious feeling that can spill over into marriage. Routines also change when you’re working. You may spend the most time with your spouse and the evenings and the weekends. And then in retirement, the time spent together may increase substantially.

Because money intersects all areas of life, there’s often more opportunity for conflict to arise. You also face new things. Unless you’ve helped a parent apply for Social Security or Medicare, you’re likely doing that for the first time. These new things can bring tension, especially when they affect both of you.

Also your perspective on things as your estate plan, charitable giving or travel, they may shift in this new phase of life. Disagreements or understanding the responsibilities can then increase the tension.

But you can avoid or at least minimize tension by avoiding some common mistakes. I’m going to quickly outline seven of those common mistakes.

Be sure to stick around to the end, as I’ll summarize what this all boils down to.

Okay, mistake number one is bottled-up priorities.

I don’t really like asking people anymore what their goals are. I think that can be hard for many of us to articulate but I do like asking what is important to you. If you know what is important to your spouse, and vice versa, you’ll find commonalities and differences. This is both good and normal. And it provides a solid foundation for understanding each other.

I hope that you’ll subscribe to the channel. I’m Anthony with One Degree Advisors and I make videos to help you gain confidence in your retirement.

Mistake number two going it alone.

Often as an advisor, I get to be the bad guy. I mean, I have a great relationship with my clients. But I also tell them the truth and sometimes the truth can hurt. Between spouses, it’s helpful to have an objective third party to know your situation, your priorities, and to tell you the truth. This can take the pressure off going it alone, especially when the truth is more difficult to handle.

This is important make sure your advisor listens to both of you. I have a number of clients where their previous advisor essentially ignored one person, often the wife unfortunately, and it’s important for you to recognize that both of you are being heard.

Mistake number three, no grace.

Money is a tool. It’s a resource. Ultimately, money’s just really not all that important. Allow for compromise, it can be helpful to have an agreed-upon amount when it comes to spending freely but also expect mistakes from yourself and from your spouse.

Mistake number four unclear responsibilities. It’s common for one person to do more on the finances. So between paying bills filing taxes, and overseeing the investments, the separation of responsibility often works out naturally. And it’s probably long been solved if you’ve been married for a while. But as you enter retirement, like I mentioned, some things may be new, like applying for Social Security and Medicare, ensuring your estate plan is up to date who’s taking the lead on these new things.

Mistake number five solo decisions.

When you include your spouse on decisions, especially major ones, it shows love and respect. You can find that when things don’t go as planned, you’ll minimize conflict that both of you have been in on the original decision from the get-go.

Mistake number six is avoidance.

Let’s face it, some things are just hard to work through. Don’t avoid the difficult stuff if it really does need to be dealt with previous points of understanding each other’s priorities and even working with a third party can make it more harmonious when pushing through these difficult things.

Lastly, mistake number seven is no plan.

Are you on track? Do you know where you’re going without competence in your retirement it can increase the stress and sometimes the spouse can catch the brunt of that stress. But when you have direction and strategy, it can certainly minimize the uncertainty. In other words, you’re just on the same page because it’s been worked out in advance.

So if I have to boil it down All too one word you might have guessed it, it’s communicated. And what works for someone else may not work for you, but communicating can help you thrive.

We recently posted a video you’ll find helpful it’s called Thrive Not Just Survive Retirement, Three Things You Can Do, we’ll go ahead and post that above and in the show notes.

So please drop a comment what’s worked for you to have a happy and fulfilling marriage and retirement and if you’re brave enough, maybe talk about the mistakes that you’ve that you can share with others.

We’ve also created a guide called Five Retirement Mistakes to avoid we’ll go ahead and post that in the show notes which can also be very helpful for you. Thanks for watching.

Transcribed by

The One Degree Blog

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